The Crank's fearless predictions for 2012
The Crank is set for a February return but until then it has come up with some fearless predictions for 2012. These might not come true but it would be fun if they did.
- New WTC CEO Andrew Messick declares Kona draft legal. The Brownlees show up and pants everyone.
- The WTC declare that Kona is to be carbon framed, carbon wheel free.. no one turns up to race.
- The ITU/Olympic world is in shock when Spain shows up to the Olympics with a 150KG 'swimmer' to help Javier get it done and prevent another GBR attack.
- Crowie gets sick of his number 2 buzz cut that he traditionally gets for Kona and opts for a mullet achy breaky style when he hits the Big Island. The finish line pics are not good.
- Jerry Seinfeld, Macca and Crowie star in a new sitcom called "trainin buddies"... it wins an Emmy.
- After a big night out Mitch Anderson persuades Macca to come back as an age group athlete… no one buys it. That's twice now.
- Shane Warne stops everything. Period.
- In the movie about his amazing career Dave Scott is played by Tom Selleck.
- Matchbox 20 front man Rob Thomas goes down with tonsilitis while on tour in Australia. Leon Griffin steps in.... does a great job.... fans none the wiser.
- Chrissie Wellington decides not to race this season….. oh that already happened.
- Female pros round the world observed skipping and singing for no apparent reason post Chrissie announcement.
- Chrissie Wellington gets herself elected British PM, ascends to Downing Street where she installs Tim Don as Minister for Cool and Fraser Cartmell as Minister for Great Accents.
- On his late night 'scary' radio show Alice Cooper decides to really put the fear into his audience. He reads Triathlon Australia's annual report.
- Triathlon Australia does something… anything.
- Lance Armstrong comes to race Kona… no one cares.
- Compression sock manufacturers come out and admit, it was all a hoax!
Stay tuned as The Crank returns Feb 6th.
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Comments (4)
by Melanie Bourne, 30 January 2012Craig should go Afro with a Dave Scott moustache.
by HANK, 30 January 2012Cartmell is cool & Tim Don " I'll miss 3 drug tests, beat Hamish to win the worlds, then take an of season ban" has a scarey accent.
Rex I think Trent is already busy with his new role for NSW Education Department warning kids on the dangers of fast and fried food addiction. It's quite a graphic lesson but really cuts through to the kids - 90 min of Chappo rubbing his greasy belly with chicken wings ala Fat Bastard style. "Eh Eh Ehhhh"
by Rex, 30 January 2012Spain could always try and recruit Trent Chapman if they are after a big strong man ehehehh
by jimmyk, 30 January 2012phil, you didnt hear? the Spanish have already recruited ivan perez for the job, and they are going to let contador sit on his back in the swim and protect gomez in the ride.
He swims a 25 sec 50 free apparently